It’s no secret that a drinking woman is an easier target for men, who, despite whatever progress we’ve made through the years, still bear the onus of having to make the first move. But when they are scanning the bar, who attracts men most? A woman with a fruity drink, wine, a classic cocktail or a glass of hard liquor served neat? (I asked this question to one of my more depraved friends, who answered with ‘Which one is showing the most cleavage?’. Point taken, but this post would be therefore be over, so I’ll continue.)

I suspect men are impressed by women who can hold their liquor, especially when it is distinctly masculine. It telegraphs ‘I can compete’, which may lead men to believe they have found a genuine sexual sparring partner. Remember when Deadwood was at the height of its popularity a few years back? Seemed just a mention of that show and an order of whisky could give men, pardon the pun, wood. #shootingfishinabarrel

Here’s the thing about whisky – and about men and women.  Men like it when women know stuff, especially man stuff. In fiction and film, we have been conditioned to recognise a heroine, if, for example, she can fix a car. Knowing how and what to drink seems to be a hallmark of these types of women. If you know your single malts from your blends and why you sometimes add an ‘e’ to the spelling, you might just impress some people. Men people.

Also, different drinks beget different types of drunkenness. Tequila gives mad energy; gin can lead to some emotional swings; wine makes you warm, sometimes slurry, and wonderful. But what is it about whisky that opens the door to banter? Somehow, it seems to fire the synapses and the one-liners and snappy comebacks flow like…drink.

Ah banter. It’s the way the clever peacock; the sarcasm, the subtle one-upmanship, the laughter… the connection. It’s also a bit of a danger zone. Ask yourself: are those sparky jabs actually mean or disrespectful? And conversational tricks, while impressive, could be avoidance. Carefully divine what’s facade and what’s authentic, and watch your own delivery, too.

Yes, a man likes a woman who knows stuff. But remember my post on yellow, because they like ease and respect – a lot. They want you to know stuff so you can acknowledge and appreciate the stuff they know.

I am not betraying my feminist roots by warning you not to play too heavy of a hand – men don’t like overly competitive men, either. Instead, learn from my mistakes. I’ve been so carried with my own banter that I’ve watched that the subject of my wit walk, carrying away his whisky (and my refill). Keep your powder on the dry side and don’t banter men away before you get the attention and respect you deserve.


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  1. #1 by SoBro on March 4, 2012 - 6:37 pm

    “Men like it when women know stuff, especially man stuff.” Truer words were never blogged. Who doesn’t like to have an interlocutor with similar interests? Interesting and affirming at the same time. That is, erudition and shared interests obviously make for good conversation on dates, but a woman who knows about man stuff speaks directly to a man’s heart.

    • #2 by sohospeaks on March 4, 2012 - 6:44 pm

      SoBro, for the record, you are one of my favourite interlocutors on this blog!

  2. #3 by jennamilly on March 4, 2012 - 6:48 pm

    Let’s get started on the road to discovering more whiskey. I’m game!

    • #4 by sohospeaks on March 4, 2012 - 6:53 pm

      Do they drink whisky in France? We are so there!

  3. #5 by Tinni Guha Roy on March 4, 2012 - 7:02 pm

    Ok Soho, I’m going to need you on my next night out… this banter situation needs correcting. I’ve got to admit, I probably am on the meaner side of disrespectful. #iblamethegin

  4. #6 by The Guest Ale on March 4, 2012 - 7:02 pm

    TBH, I’ve never seen a woman drinking whisky neat in a bar. I would love to see it, but haven’t. To be able to say, “ah, is that an Islay, a Speyside, a Lowland or a Campbelltown?” would certainly be a refreshing kick off. Segues neatly into conversations about how wonderful Scotland is, then onto common ground (outdoor pursuits etc).

    So yes, ladies, drink more whisky in bars, please.

  5. #7 by EJ on March 6, 2012 - 9:18 pm

    I drink whiskey neat in bars. (Laphroig or Lagavulun if you’ve got it thanks.) I smoke cigars. I also wear suspenders and heels and cook like Julia fucking Child.

    I banter like a champ and expect a bloke to go six rounds before we’re done. Tell me my arguement is binary bullshit and I might even go home with you but you’ll need to pick up the bill.

    But where this post is entirely correct is that most men will end up marrying the girl with a cosmo in hand, marks and sparks pants and an agreeable disposition.

  6. #8 by Brendan on March 7, 2012 - 10:04 pm

    I just get bombed on whiskey… I am with TGR… I don’t have banter either. Am I doing something wrong? Please let me know Soho.

    • #9 by sohospeaks on March 7, 2012 - 10:19 pm

      Baby you got banter and you’re not doing a thing wrong. Everyone wants to sit on your couch…

  7. #10 by Mister Chappers on March 13, 2012 - 1:02 am

    Hey Soho.
    I went to a bar in Sydney once with a (lady) friend from London.
    The ‘mixologist’ offered us a single-malt/mint/lime/soda contraption of such profoundly smug revoltion that I’m not so sure about this last piece of yours. There really isn’t anything sexy when the banter starts and indeed, stops, at ‘This drink tastes like a baby’s diaper. I’m not paying. And you’re an asshole.’
    We had a Fosters instead. It was a real killer.

    • #11 by sohospeaks on March 13, 2012 - 8:25 am

      I know that bar, that mixologist, that taste of a diaper full of shrimp and that anecdote. Exactly my point. Had that woman actually known anything about whisky, we might not have has to flee in a chauffered mini van flying through the streets of Sydney.

  1. High Heels « Soho Speaks

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