The way you eat may not be a style choice per se, but it says as much about you as the clothes you choose to wear – and like clothes, how you do it sends signals to the opposite sex.

Most people, whether consciously or not, associate food with enjoyment of life.  It’s sensuous, it marks occasion, and like sex, it literally keeps us going.  The more you seem to like it, the more you seem to like life.

Most men love food, and this is one of the things I love most about men.  They eat because they are hungry; they eat because they want to and they usually don’t count calories and beat themselves up about it unless they need to, like some genders I know.


Before I serve up my opinions on food, allow me a caveat.  This blog is all about healthy women, healthy body image, healthy confidence and healthy sexuality.  Eating is part of this.  Do I judge habitual overeating? Yes, but not nearly as much as a pervasive culture of under-eating, food guilt, fictional allergies and intolerances, calorie counting and diet-of-the-moment mentionitis.

It’s. Just. Boring.

When it comes to food, get involved.  Order what you like and enjoy it.  And don’t be afraid to use your hands where appropriate.  Sure there are probably some rigid public school boys, anal retentives and Teutonic types who are so removed from their food and the pleasures of life that to see you digging in with relish will only freak them out.  There are also flaming chauvinistic fattists out there who think that any level of enjoyment of food means that you will explode in one year’s time.  We don’t like them anyway.

But do you know what men don’t like?  When we order daintily only to stare at and eventually start eating off their plates. If you want chips, order your own freaking chips. Don’t pretend you’re going in for one only to eat half.

I joke that men should dump women with food hang-ups.  Because if I were a man, I would.  And that’s because I know that if a women isn’t comfortable eating in front of a man, that’s just the start of a long list of things she’s not comfortable doing in front of him.

In these ‘post feminist’ times, we women spend a lot of time wondering why it is that we don’t yet share the complete set of privileges that our male counterparts do, whether it’s examining how we treat each other, how much money we spend on cosmetics and clothes or how our very genetic make-up, from brain and hormonal balances to our built-in ability to bear children, affects how we relate with the world.

While these inequalities are certainly unacceptable and likely down to a blend of all sorts of things, what I can say is this: devoting an inordinate amount of mental energy questioning a BASIC need for nourishment is not helping.  We’ve got enough on our plates.

Food is fun, comforting and sexy – just like a partner should be.  Let’s just dig in.


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  1. #1 by A.M. on March 25, 2012 - 1:16 pm

    I got involved last night. Too involved. But, damn, that ribeye was deeeelish!

  2. #2 by sohospeaks on March 25, 2012 - 4:07 pm

    ‘Atta girl.

  3. #3 by jennamilly on March 27, 2012 - 8:41 pm

    I love this blog! Finally, someone said it. Now, pass the cheese.

  4. #4 by thelostmeatmonster on November 20, 2012 - 2:25 am

    Preaching to the Choir.

  5. #5 by Lauren on January 14, 2013 - 12:07 am

    I guess I don’t think it’s particularly productive to actively shame women for participating in a culture of femininity going hand in hand with calorie counting and body image obsession when it IS the dominant culture and manifestations of that pressure are often diseases like eating disorders. I find your “post-feminist” post to actually reflect misogynistic thinking quite a bit and stands on a platform above a certain kind of constructed femininity. It seems that you blame individual women for the way they’ve been taught to think about food instead of blaming the culture that’s taught them. Telling women to buck up and get over their issues because it isn’t helping feminism ain’t exactly helping feminism either. Telling women to change their behavior because men don’t like it isn’t exactly feminist also.

    And “fictional” allergies and intolerances in the same sentence as calorie counting? Erp. Way to trivialize physical health issues as if it’s a get-thin diet fad.

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