Posts Tagged shoulders

Shoulders

This blog is officially one month old, so that makes it an official month that I’ve been talking a lot of sh*t about shoulders.  You’ll note that my Oscars post about the magic of shoulders and the results of my extremely scientific and statistically significant poll (with a sample size of, ahem, 21) prove it – shoulders attract men!

Say what you want about boobs, bums and legs (and men like all of those things, obviously, but that wouldn’t make this blog terribly insightful, would it?); shoulders don’t take up the editorial real estate of their aforementioned cousins, but their power is by no means underappreciated.  Men get a glimpse of a shoulder, especially just the one, and your work may well be done.

Style-wise, you can highlight your shoulder in several ways.  A Jennifer Beals casual, ‘oh look my sweatshirt just fell off’ situation, an asymmetrical dress that bears one shoulder (this makes men go rogue) or anything strapless. You can’t really go wrong, so long as you’re remotely toned. Tanned all the better.

And the best part? I really believe that this is attention is positive.  While men may initially see exposed shoulders as a gateway to a state of undress, shoulders have always signified strength.  Symbolically, think Atlas; shoulders are the platform on which we carry the weight, be that physical or metaphorical. While I have previously speculated that men like a calm and easy partner, men like women who can handle stuff.  They don’t want to walk through life with a weakling.

So it’s shoulders that in some way give them a glimpse of what’s to come… whether that’s for a night or the longer term.

That long view is a funny old thing. We women are notorious for our ability to fast forward the tapes.  For example, we meet a guy, we have some banter about travel in Morocco, we like him.  What he may not know is that we’ve already got him sunbathing naked on the enclosed roof of a riad in Marrakech, after our imaginary courtship of six blissful months. He may propose on this trip, for the record.

Well I like to think shoulders make men act, by whatever increment, the same.  Maybe when they see them, they too, are fast forwarding.  They might imagine kissing a shoulder and where that leads; they may consider what they could do to the breasts so nearby and what they look like naked.

On a rooftop… of a riad… in Morocco.

Maybe.

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Fashion ‘Holice Oscars Special

Welcome to the to the inaugural edition of the Fashion ‘Holice – the Soho’s very own take on celebrity style that attracts men.  Which styles draw rave reviews from women and repel men (hint: peplums) and which cross gender lines?  There were four key trends at this year’s Academy Awards that illustrate the difference between men and women, and within those trends, it’s a story of contrasts.  We’ve got sleeves vs. shoulders and demure vs. vampy.  Now let’s break it down.

Shoulders – Bridesmaid Kristen Wiig, The Artist’s Missy Pyle and model/actress Milla Jovovich nailed the rules of attraction by bearing their shoulders.  I’ve got a post on shoulders coming, so I don’t want to throw a spoiler into the mix and will keep it brief.  Men love a shoulder, even more so if you only let them look at one.  Leave them wanting more is the lesson (see JLo), so for now, I’ll leave some mystery for my coming post.

Sleeves – When Gwyneth Paltrow arrived in a cape, the Twittersphere started to buzz about a new trend – maximum coverage. I heard one stylist position this as an empowerment thing: women exercising control over what they reveal. I believe women are more or less in control of that anyway, unless of course they are celebrities, so my guess is that they opted for high fashion over high control. And to men, high fashion = high risk.  Any guy who saw Shailene Woodley in a bikini for most of The Descendants is wondering why she chose to cover all last night. As for Gwyneth, she was proud and statuesque and very grand dame. Women loved it, but I’ll bet that while some men appreciated the idea, the look left the majority lukewarm. Who got the reveal right? JLo. While her nipple received the most PR for exposure, the woman continues to master the fabric-to-skin ratio.

Demure – What a mixed bag. The gamine thing seems to work consistently for Natalie Portman, probably because she is so very beautiful. Known sex bomb Penelope Cruz looked a bit like a prom queen, albeit one with an amazing rack. But there were two standout fashion failures in this category.  It pains me to say that Emma Stone’s bow was not only derivative (see Kidman, Nicole) but is the type of feature that confounds and potentially terrifies most men.  Also, kudos to Michelle Williams for wearing attention-grabbing coral that showcases that alabaster skin, especially on her open back, but was that a… gasp – peplum?  I once purchased a peplum skirt after a fashion editor convinced me it was ‘timeless, elegant and fashion forward.’ When I tried it on for my… gasp – mother, she simply said, ‘Honey, that’s a boner shrinker.’ The tags hang on that skirt to this day.

Vampy – No surprises here; men love a vamp and a few celebs played the part last night.  Notably, we have Angelina Jolie in her go-to goth get-up with a slit that got her right leg its own Twitter feed. Men might have been amused watching her work it like a kickstand, but they do like an, ahem, slit.  She also had a good red pucker, ‘bedroom hair’ as we’ve come to define it and a surprising glow.  Analysis? She and Brad had sex in the car.  Rose Byrne also showed her edge in her black asymmetrical situation.  The jury is out on this one. While the dress is surely sexy, her stick skinny frame couldn’t hold it up.  I also wonder if that heavy fringe and parting scrambles a male mind – it’s entirely too intentional.  On the subject of confusing fringes and eating disorders, I give you Rooney Mara. Yes, Rooney, you’re edgy and you’re fashion, but was last night’s dress the success we’d expected?  Men may like her dominatrixy vibe but if you intend to show some skin, you might want to be a bit more flesh and less bone.

Finally, in the area of hair and make-up, I want to give a shout out to Jessica Chastain, who just looked outstanding.

So what have we learned? 1) When it comes to style that attracts men, ask first ‘What Would JLo Do?’ 2) If it’s got a peplum, think twice. 3) We need some male feedback on the fringe.

What’s so right? What’s so wrong? Over to you?

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