Posts Tagged yellow

Whisky

It’s no secret that a drinking woman is an easier target for men, who, despite whatever progress we’ve made through the years, still bear the onus of having to make the first move. But when they are scanning the bar, who attracts men most? A woman with a fruity drink, wine, a classic cocktail or a glass of hard liquor served neat? (I asked this question to one of my more depraved friends, who answered with ‘Which one is showing the most cleavage?’. Point taken, but this post would be therefore be over, so I’ll continue.)

I suspect men are impressed by women who can hold their liquor, especially when it is distinctly masculine. It telegraphs ‘I can compete’, which may lead men to believe they have found a genuine sexual sparring partner. Remember when Deadwood was at the height of its popularity a few years back? Seemed just a mention of that show and an order of whisky could give men, pardon the pun, wood. #shootingfishinabarrel

Here’s the thing about whisky – and about men and women.  Men like it when women know stuff, especially man stuff. In fiction and film, we have been conditioned to recognise a heroine, if, for example, she can fix a car. Knowing how and what to drink seems to be a hallmark of these types of women. If you know your single malts from your blends and why you sometimes add an ‘e’ to the spelling, you might just impress some people. Men people.

Also, different drinks beget different types of drunkenness. Tequila gives mad energy; gin can lead to some emotional swings; wine makes you warm, sometimes slurry, and wonderful. But what is it about whisky that opens the door to banter? Somehow, it seems to fire the synapses and the one-liners and snappy comebacks flow like…drink.

Ah banter. It’s the way the clever peacock; the sarcasm, the subtle one-upmanship, the laughter… the connection. It’s also a bit of a danger zone. Ask yourself: are those sparky jabs actually mean or disrespectful? And conversational tricks, while impressive, could be avoidance. Carefully divine what’s facade and what’s authentic, and watch your own delivery, too.

Yes, a man likes a woman who knows stuff. But remember my post on yellow, because they like ease and respect – a lot. They want you to know stuff so you can acknowledge and appreciate the stuff they know.

I am not betraying my feminist roots by warning you not to play too heavy of a hand – men don’t like overly competitive men, either. Instead, learn from my mistakes. I’ve been so carried with my own banter that I’ve watched that the subject of my wit walk, carrying away his whisky (and my refill). Keep your powder on the dry side and don’t banter men away before you get the attention and respect you deserve.

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Yellow

I don’t have to tell you that men like yellow.  Chris Martin already has (though admittedly, some of those lyrics boggle my mind).  So did that guy who likes those teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikinis.  It also doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that if you walk into a room wearing yellow, you’re going to turn some heads, many of them male.

In some ways, the yellow thing is an easy one to crack.  Perhaps it’s yellow, the colour of the sun and its warmth, or a smiley emoticon and its joy, that speaks to what most men desire in a woman:  ease, happiness, batted eyed approval – simplicity.

Once in a San Francisco gift shop, I saw a coffee mug for sale with an image of Marilyn Monroe on it accompanied by a sign that said ‘pour yourself into me’ and I’ll use this to make my point. Maybe it’s no coincidence that Marilyn’s legendary blonde hair also makes us think of yellow. Maybe, more broadly, many men are seeking vessels into which they pour themselves.

I hear you asking: ‘Isn’t this counter to what you wrote in your red lipstick post, Soho?  That bit about men wanting to take women on?’

Uh. Yes.  A reader who I deeply admire and respect read that post.  She said she liked it, but she didn’t agree with it.  She said that ‘men want to fuck a woman who wears red lipstick, but they don’t want to do the school run with her.’ I may not agree in full, but I do see her point – a point that brings us back to yellow.

Yellow is not only optimistic, it’s gentle – it espouses no political affiliations, claims to colour no US states and is a sartorial non-participant in the battle of the sexes.  I wonder if men see yellow and subconsciously fast-forward to dinner in the garden, a hand-delivered gin and tonic and a life of ease.  The girl you bring home to mum and dad wears yellow. So does that beautiful bride. So it ends in the school run, but not in baggy elastic waisted things.  I reckon that yellow has yummy mummy potential.

In saying all this, yellow turns out to be a surprisingly complex character.  Psychologists say that while it reminds us of all things bright and cheery, it also fatigues the eye and makes us feel tense.

Ain’t that just a clever little allegory for men and women?  Men want their women to be happy, attention-getting and easier on the eye and yet that slight sense of unease underlies what appear to be the most enduring relationships. Is it that complexity trumps simplicity after all?

Brad? Angie? Care to weigh-in?  You can borrow my red lipstick when you do.

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